It never fails, whenever I want to take a shower there’s always a spider hanging directly overhead. It’s usually one of those with the grey body and creepy long legs. If I’m feeling brave and the spider’s not moving around on its web I go in, but I make sure to keep one eye on it at all times. Once in a while I make it to the end of my shower but 90% of the time the spider starts moving around and I lose my courage. At this point I have to get out and plot its demise. If my husband is home I can play the wife in distress and let him do the dirty work. I was going to use the word damsel here but as you probably already know a damsel is a young unmarried woman. I wonder if there’s a cool word that means young married woman? Anyway, my husband’s usually quick to respond to my distress call unless he’s sitting infront of the xbox. In that case, I have to get creative. I usually try letting my towel accidentally fall and then pick it up all sexy like. Hey, sometimes a woman has to use her feminine wiles. I wish I could say that this works most of the time but I can’t. The xbox wins, damn that Microsoft!

There are three other ways of getting rid of that spider. The first is point the shower hose to the ceiling and turn the water on. This method doesn’t work so well and I don’t recommend it. The water pressure is sometimes to weak to reach the spider and even if it does your ceiling gets wet.

The second way is to grab a broom and sweep it from the ceiling onto the shower floor. Once the spider is there it can’t crawl back out because it’s too slippery. You can then use the shower hose to wash it down the drain. I recommend this method if you’re not too scared that it’ll fall in your hair or crawl down the broom.

The third and best way to whack the spider is to get your vacuum cleaner and attach the long hose. All you have to do is turn it on and extend the hose to where the spider is hanging. This method is quick, easy and the spider won’t see it coming. One second he’s there and the next he’s gone. You almost feel sorry for him don’t you? How long can spiders live inside vacuum cleaners anyway? I have to empty the vacuum cleaner bag soon and who knows how many spiders are in there waiting for me.