Slippery Technology

I want to know the name of the tech guru responsible for making the iphone as slippery as possible. Because the idea is actually kind of diabolical.

I can imagine that tech meeting going something like this:

I think Dr. Evil was also invited to this meeting, for whatever reason ¯_(ツ)_/¯ But his suggestion of encasing it with cactus needles 🌵 was narrowly out voted.🐈

Does anyone have a more subtle way of making fun of the peasants?

Then someone says,

How about we charge them lots of $$$$$ BUT let’s also make the phone as slippery as a snail’s bottom so it will fall off of every surface known to mankind and then they’ll have to spend even more $$$$$.

Then someone else adds,

AND let’s not include a phone charger any more. They can use their old chargers! OR spend even more $$$$$ replacing it.

YES! The peasants!! Let them eat phone!!!! (insert evil laugh here).